Odd Sisters
by RedHerald
Summary: To most of the world(especially Lyra) Lulu is a mutant engineered by her mad scientist mother. To most of the world(especially Lyra) Lani is horrid demon from hell. To each other the two youngest louds were a massive pain in the butt-like most siblings-but also someone they wouldn't change for the world.
1. Supernatural Baby Wrestling

**_This is just some dumb thing I massed togther_**

* * *

In the backyard of the Loud house, something great was about to happen.

Leia was about to make a lot of money

The pig-tailed girl was not a fan of wrestling. Leia did respect the amount of capital that could be gathered from people wanting to others smash each other. Billions could be made from showcasing regular people fake fighting each other. The pig-tailed girl had two super-powered sisters who could that too

Leia had made sure no one who could stop her would be around. The adults we're at work, and Liena was at her cooking club, Lyra was at a protest rally.

Her other older siblings either supported what Leia was doing for the sheer awesomeness of it, or would not dare defy her.

Lizy held her camera and was filming everything, Loan likewise streaming the event to her twich followers. Leia younger sister was eager to help out. Leia's older sister needed some convincing. The pig-tailed girl black-mailed her on the erotic sketches the older girl made featuring her and Bobby.

Lacy set-up up a ring, by grabbing some red tape in garage and making a square.

Lemy brought some of his friends over, which consisted of dumb boys, the target demographic for wrestling. Bobby stuck by his older brother. The small boy didn't want to be here, but Gwen was excited about her part in the event and Bobby knew he should be there for his girlfriend.

Marsha was collecting bets for who'd win, so far there was no clear favorite.

Leia stood in the ring with three other people. One of which was Gwen who had insisted she'd be the one introduce the girls who'd be competing today but pig-tailed girl said she'd be the one to play the part of the announcer. That was the coolest part and this was Leia's idea afterall

The brown-haired girl wore one of her father's old refree shirts which was obviously too big for her and a whistle.

"In this corner weighing in at 11 pounds and 5 ounces, the spawn of hell with a demon's tail, She-devil!" Leia said before pointing to one of the contestants.

Lani wore a red lucador mask with horns and her usual purple onesie, She stood on her short legs and pounded her little chest furiously before pointing to the other baby across the ring. "You're going down squid. I will destroy your body, and then I will devour your soul." the youngest loud screeched.

Leia then held out an arm in the other contestants direction.

"In this corner weighing in at 13 pounds and 7 ounchs, the scientific monstrosity, with mutant abnormailties, Cthulhu."

Lulu wore her purple onsie, and had a blue mask on and sat on the floor like any normal baby took out her pacifier. "Bah." she said before putting it back in her mouth.

With introductions done Leia stepped out of the ring.

"I want a good, clean, fight, so no throwing up or making a mess in your clothes. If you that my boyfriend will have to clean it up." gwen declared

"What?" Bobby blustered.

Gwen just threw him a cheeky grin before blowing her whistle.

The smile on Leia's friend's after doing so was almost as good as the money Leia would make this day. Well not really, but Gwen would like to hear that.

Lani's entire body turned a dark shade of red, her tail grew and developed spikes, her eyes turned completely black and her hands ignited in flames.

Lulu spat out her pacifier her mouth enlarged revealing a mouth that would make a shark envious in terms of amount teeth it held and how sharp they were. Tentacle sprang from the small girl's back lifting her a dozen feet in the air.

The two babes launched at each other with to do epic battle.

When they were just about to make contact a powerful force stopped the,, dead in their tracks.

"What's going on here." a familiar male voice yelled.

Leia's blood ran cold.

The two babes turned to the source of the voice which turned out to be none other than Lincoln.

"Father/Dada?" Lani and Lulu said simultaneously before morphing back in their usual forms and plopping down on the ground

"Run!" Lacy yelled and immediately sprinted off. Other people did likewise, except for Lupa, and Leia who realized it'd be pointless given she'd have to come back anyway, and the babies.

Leia put on her best smile. "Hey Daddy you're home early." she said nonchlantly.

The white-haired man nodded. "I recieved an anonymous call_."

"It was me." Lupa piped in. "I called him and I only did so because I hate you Leia and I want to see you suffer." with that declaration Lupa turned to go inside.

"Don't tell your sister you hate her." Lincoln pleaded.

"You can't silence the truth." the white-haired girl said not even turning back.

Lincoln returned his gaze towards Leia, and the babies.

Leia held up her hands. "Daddy I know this may look bad, but I assure there's a perfectly rational reason for all of this."

"Ok what is it?"

The man might as well have asked how many stars were in the sky.

"Um, well first off the two weren't going to fight. They would have shoved each other lightly-super lightly. And more importantly what they were about to do was for that thing where people stupidly I mean courageously give away money for some inane I mean righteous cause. You know marity."

"You mean charity?" Lincoln asked.

Leia snapped her fingers. "Thats the thing, yes what you are seeing right now is all this for chairty."

"For what?"

"To get Ace-Savvy comics to underprivelaged youth?" Leia fished.

Lincoln sighed. "Well that would be an extremely noble cause, I have to doubt you were actually doing that."

The white-haired man turned his gaze towards the babies. He crouced down, to speak to them.

"Please take off the masks." the two promptly did so.

"What were two you doing, and why?" he asked candidly

Lani was the one to respond. ""Forgive me Father, but I've been made to swear an under the dark lord name to never tell you anything about the event that was about to transpire."

"Bah." Lulu added.

Leia slapped her forehead. That sounded way too inconspicuous.

"Oh that makes me feel so sad. My two little girls don't trust me." Lincoln sighed. At this the babies' eyes widened in panic.

They never wanted to disappoint Lincoln.

"Please don't be sad Father. I was about to wage an unholy battle with the abomination where we would each tear the other part in a beautiful display of blood and carnage."

"Bah" Lulu added.

Lincoln frowned. "Why would you do such a thing?" the man asked his youngest daughters.

The small demon pointed to Leia. "The gremlin said she'd give us her desert for a whole month." she disclaimed.

"Leia you're grounded for a month."

Leia was horrified. "But they can't even get hurt." she pouted.

That was true in a way. Any injury the two babes were dealt, always healed in seconds at most, and the two were never evn remotely stunned after doing so. Lincoln once saw the two when they got out of their cell-cribs, get run over by a truck when they were crossing a street. It was the most horrifying sight in Lincoln, but when the white-haired man rushed to help them theynwere perfectly fine.

But still Lincoln didn't like seeing his two youngest daughters damaged in way even if superficially.

"I'll make it two young lady if don't go to your room now."

The girl slouched and heeded her father's warning. "Stupid white-haired witch. Dumb babies" she mumbled already plotting some way to get back at her nicotine obsessed sister

Lincoln picked up Lani and held her in his arms and turned his back so Lulu could hop on. They made their way into the chair wherein Lincoln plopped down on his couch.

"Girls, do you know why Leia's in trouble?"

"She defied your will?" Lani asked.

"Not exactly."

"Bah."

"Well that is certianly closer, but still not quite. Girls I don't like the idea of you getting hurt in any capacity no matter how long. That's part of it. Another part is that she was exploiting you-for making you into a sideshow without proper pay."

The two infants frowned. "But father, we desired to fight for the sugary treats." Lani said.

The white-haired man nodded. "But Leia would have gotten far more than that. She'd be able to afford like a million deserts while you get only a month's share of hers. Does that sound fair?" Lincoln asked

The two babes shook their heads.

"Right, your pay should be in proportion of your work in anything you do. Don't be eager to accept less than what your putting in." Lincoln posited

The two babes saw the wisedom in their dad's words and nodeed.

"Now who wants ice-cream."

The two girl's eyes widened. "But it's not even dinner! Liena says eating desert early spoils your appetite" Lani disclaimined perplexed

"I won't tell her if you won't" Lincoln declared before giving his daughters a misevious wink.

The two babes grinned back.


	2. Lyra Tries to Save the World

**Another thing hastily put toghther. Heads up chapters won't go in chronoligical order. One chapter may show Lani and Lulu as babes. The next may deal with them being grown.**

* * *

Lyra was good christian. As such she's dedicated her life to murdering her youngest sister. Lyra put up a lot from her family;incest, pedophilia, she's learned to suffer it. Lyra didn't like it but she endured it, while trying in various subtle ways to turn her loved on the path to christ. She made an exception for her, and Lemy of course. There aren't too many good Christian girls left in the world, and Lyra wanted to keep her little brother safe by making sure he had a romantic relationship with someone of fine moral character.

She even put up with Lulu, who although a great insult to the heavenly father Lyra didn't think she was plotting to destroy the world.

But literal demons is were Lyra drew the line.

The Christian teen knew her family's sins would have consequences someday and it came in the form of Lani.

She crept through the hallway, shot-gun firmly grasped in her hands. She was almost to her destination, before one of the bedroom doors opened.

Leia came out in all black clothes, and a black Ski mask carrying a can of spraypaint and a metal pipe.

The two Loud girls starred out each other.

"Where are you going?" Lyra asked her younger sister.

Leia had planned to sneak out tonight to meet up with her soldiers. The bluebells had been encroaching on her Cartel's territory, lately, and they needed to be taught a lesson in respect.

"I planned on taking a walk. You know get fresh air." the pig-tailed girl offered to the Christian teen.

Lyra quirked an eyebrow. "In the middle of the night dressed like that? And what possible use could have the things you're holding on a mere walk?"

Leia shrugged. "I like the quiet of night, these clothes look cute, and these things make me feel more comfortable." the pig-tailed girl gestured to the weapon that resided in Lyra's arms.

"What's with the gun?"

Lyra's eyes widened. "Well uh I found this lying around and I'm just taking it somewhere safe."

The two just starred at the other.

"You're going to try to kill Lani again."

Lyra nodded. "And you're going out to do some brand of criminal mischief."

"Yep." the small blonde girl responded. "I won't snitch if you don't."

"Fine. But you better be back before dawn. It's a school night after all."

Leia rolled her eyes, and scampered off before her older sister could change her mind. The blonde little girl wasn't worried about her baby sister. Lyra trying to kill the youngest Loud was a fairly common occurance. Hell, the teen had even laced cynaide in the babies food sometimes hoping to kill her. Lani said it tasted it like cinnamon and thanked her older sister. Their father kept reprimanding her, but never daunted the girl's ambitions.

Lyra made a cross over her chest. Lord forgive her she knew the proper thing would have been to take off her belt beat Leia's little ass, and then call their father to dispell futher punishment, but her mission came first.

Lyra found it ironic that to destroy one devil she had to make a deal with another.

She opened the door to the babies room. The two were locked in chromium containers and that could only be opened through inputting a code in computer frame resting on them.

Lyra was not entrusted with the code obviously, but she had set up camera's across the babies room and captured Lincoln putting in the code for them.

It turned out to be Lyra's birthday.

When the crib opened Lyra was greeted by the ultimate enemy of all of mankind.

Lani was cuddling Bun-Bun. The old stuffed animal had been in the Loud family for decades, shared amongst the youngest. Tonight the demon baby got him. Lani was having a great dream, before being woken up by Lyra. In the dream The demon was all grown up, she ruled hell with with an iron-fist. All of her family were there too, giving her a massive group hug, everyone was congratulating her. Lani's father was hugging her the hardest, and was too patting her on the head whispering in her ear what a great daughter she was.

The small groaned softly when her crib was opened. She sat up still clutching the stuffed animal.

She found herself starring at her second favorite sister-cousin who carrying a shot-gun. Lani felt appreciated when Lyra tried to do away with the youngest Loud. To be seen as the great evil she was nice-even if all Lyra's attempts were impotent.

"Tonight you die Devil." the Christian teen declared. "The world will finally be safe from your wickedness."

Lani gave a large smile showcasing all her razor sharp teeth. "My coming wrath upon the world is inevitable you whore. Once I grow up everything holy will be destroyed. I will find your Christ, and break his body far worse than the romans did. He will beg me for water, after feasting upon my flames, and I will grant his request by pissing in his mouth."

Lyra glared back at her youngest sister. "God will never lose to you. Though his children may fail to uphold his will time to time, God will in the end be victorious." she cocked her shot-gun. "But I will not fail this time."

Lani laughed. "Your mortal weapon cannot harm me."

Lyra shook her head. "This weapon has been blessed by a priest." she said confidently.

The demon frowned. "Isn't that true for everything you try to kill me with?"

Lyra opened her mouth to object, but then realized Lani was right. Even the cyanid she slipped in Lani's food was blessed by a priest. Lyra wondered if she should get a new priest for these sorts of things.

"This time will be diffrent" Lyra declared before firing the gun.

* * *

Lincoln waited in the loungeroom at the hospital worried out of his mind. He was not a deeply faithful man, but he found himself asking the big man in the sky for an explanation for the tragedy. Why sould someone innocent have to suffer? Why couldn't Lincoln have been the one to have been shot?

God was silent in his reply.

Lyra put a hand on his shoulder. "Dad you have to understand_."

"Lyra. Please just don't. You may killed someone I loved. You are my daughter so I'll always care for you, but please just be quiet right now." Lincoln said.

The doctor came out of the ER wearing a grave expression. Lincoln stood up on shakey legs.

"What's the diagnosis Doc?" Lincoln asked the old gray-haired man in a white-coat

The Doctor sighed. "It doesn't look good. A shot in a head at such close range is quite hard to recover from."

Lincoln clenched his fists."Just give it to straight doc; what could I do to fix this."

The Doctor held up a hand. "$5000."

Lincoln let out a sigh of relief. "That sounds more than fair."

Lyra scrunched up her face. "$5000 to fix an old stuffed animal?"

The white-haired man gasped. "You nearly killl Bun and now you're trying to dehumanize him. Lyra, me and my sisters raised you better than that."

"He-it was never a person in the first place." Lincoln gasped deeper. Lyra gestured around her. "This isn't even a real hospital;its just a place that stitchs up dolls in the mall." she pointed to the Doctor. "That man is literally wearing a badge that says 'not an actual doctor'"

Lincoln just threw up his hands. "Well what do you want me to do Lyra, let a family member die? Me and him are brothers, so in this family he's practically your father. Would you allow your father to die? Do you hate me so much?" he ranted fully convinced his logic was sound.

Lyra rolled her eyes. "You could let aunt Leni, or Liena fix it for free."

The fake doctor sensing he may lose his mark quickly interceded. "Sir I must say the nature of Mr. Bun-Bun's injuries require very precise expertise else he may not make a full recovery. Is money truly worth more than the well-fare of family?"

Lani who was being held by her father took this moment, to interject herself in the conversation. She pulled on Lincoln's collar. "Please Father, Bun-Bun must be fully healed. He is responsible for many of my sweet dark dreams."

Lincoln smiled down at his youngest daughter. "Don't worry Honey, nothing is too good for him."

Lyra threw up her arms. "It. Again Bun-Bun is not an actual person or even a real animal. Where are you even going to get $5000?"

Lincoln shrugged. "I'll ask Leia for a loan. I already owe her a lot more than that. What's one more drop of water to the Ocean?" he explained. Lincoln was lucky he was Leia's father otherwise he would have lost the use of his legs for his failure to pay her back.

"Also your grounded from Church for a month. Matter of fact you're not even allowed to pray for nearly killing Bun-Bun, and trying to kill Lani again."

The Christian teen balked at the punishment. "Again Bun-Bun is an object, therefore it cannot actually be killed as it was never alive in first place, and Lani is literally the anti-Christ who should be killed as soon as possible.

Lincoln sighed. "Whether, or not Lani is the anti-Christ_."

"She is." Lyra hissed.

"I definitely am." Lani declared proudly.

"She is still your sister. You should be nice to her."

Lyra seeing her Father wouldn't see reason just walked away.

The fake doctor coughed to get attention back on him. "For an extra $200 me and my peers could give him a thorough pampering session."

Lincoln smiled. "That cheap? Awesome."

Paying people to Pamper Bun-Bun was just one of the Bun-Bun related reasons Lincoln was so indebted to Leia.


	3. Baby's first Kidnapping

March 31st could be marked as the greatest day in the history of the universe or any universe-at least if you were to ask two supernatural babies by the name of Lulu and Lani.

Because March 31st was the day, they'd get to meet the star of their favorite TV show-Rocking Lucky. The curly red-haired man's show featured himself, and his little magical creature friends in the forest of Sunsets. Lucky often had to mediate disputes between his little friends and at the show perform an awesome song with his guitar.

The man had a live performance at the local theatre, and the two babies had gotten Liena to take them.

After the show, the entertainer gave the chance to talk with him at a table. Or if his fans couldn't speak more aptly, he'd be talking to the people who brought them to the show, especially if it was a young fat woman.

Everyone had to wait in line to see him, of course, and agree to buy the man's storybook. Liena was slightly peeved at that.

Lani wanted to cut ahead of the mortals, but Liena told her that'd be mean, so she didn't. The demon decided to obey her elder sister. Lani was evil-but that didn't mean she had to be mean. That's what her father said.

When Lani and Lulu got in front of him, they were ecstatic.

"Well, howdy it's sure nice to meet a couple more fans." the man's eyes lingered on Liena, who was carrying the two babes.

"Greetings, Master Lucky. I am Lani Lucifer Loud. The future ruler of hell." the demon pronounced regally and loudly. She pointed to her mutant sister. "This is my pet, squid. My family calls it Lulu."

The small mutant reached over and gouged out the right eye of her little sister.

"Lulu no mutilating Lani," Liena said while giving the mutant a stern stare. She then turned her gaze to the demon atop her head.

"And Lani, don't call Lulu your pet."

The youngest loud didn't even flinch as the damage was repaired near instantly.

Lani rolled her newly repaired crimson eyes. "The squid is my sister."

"And who may I ask is this lovely woman?" Lucky asked, hoping the small demon wouldn't say her mother.

"Liena," the blonde teen responded. "I'm these two little rascal's big sister."

Lucky's smile widened.

"The squid and I are longstanding admirers of your program," Lani announced, bringing attention back to where it should always be, which was on her.

"Bah," Lulu added enthusiastically.

"As such, I have decided to award you with the privilege of performing exclusively for us at our domain." she declared.

"Bah/Eh?" Lulu and Liena simultaneously asked.

Lucky still smiling responded. "Well, I have to say that is a mighty fine offer, but I'm afraid I have to say turn down your very generous and tempting offer."

Lani growled. "You seem to have misunderstood me. Let me be clear. I am conscripting you into my service mortal. Be thankful for it may be the thing that keeps you from being purged when I_."

Lulu whacked her little sister on the head to shut her up. The demon glared at her, but Lulu just turned her gaze towards the idol and tried to salvage the encounter.

"Bah." she offered.

"That's nice sweetie," said Lucky, utterly ignoring Lulu's passioned and reasoned apology.

"So Liena, do you want to grab a bite sometime? My treat." Lucky offered.

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm rather busy. Don't think I have time for that." Liena had no interest in shacking up with a balding entertainer.

Lucky wanted to call the big teen a liar but knew that might cause an argument, and he couldn't afford to make a scene here. He was still in hot water over his DUI and prostitution scandal.

He just kept smiling. "Well, If you change your mind, here's my card, and a key to my hotel room."

Liena tepidly took the two objects.

"Well, this has been a delight, but we should really be going."

Lani started fussing. "I want him!" her eyes turned completely black, and her skin got a red tinge. Liena just gave her youngest sister a stern look-a look that promised no desert. Lani's rage dialed back. She'd get the man one way or the other.

* * *

"Lulu, I got something." Lani excitedly said, nudging the older baby awake. Lulu groaned but sat up. The mutant gave her sister an annoyed groan and gave a look that asked 'what.'

Lani gave a wide smile. "Follow me." with that; the demon began crawling downstairs. Lulu followed her sister. The had ended up at Aunt Lana's tool shed. When they got inside Lulu, saw an unconscious Lucky tied up.

"Bah!" Lulu said with absolute anger.

"How? Well, I just followed the address listed on the card he gave Liena."

Lulu began rubbing her head in frustration. "Bah."

"Oh, you meant why? Well, that's a stupid question. So he could be our Jester."

"Bah!"

"Don't pretend that you wouldn't have done this too if you had half of my resolve," Lani said

"Bah!"

Lani rolled her eyes. "Geez squid, and I thought Lupa had a potty-mouth. Listen, the man will eventually see serving me is a privilege that any sane person would want to do."

"Bah?"

"Why because I'm the future ruler of hell." Lani wondered how this obvious point seems to have eluded the squid.

Lulu wondered why her little sister had to be a reckless idiot.

"I do respect your sense of loyalty," a familiar voice piped up from just outside the shed startling the two. "But sadly, it's getting in the way of my economic goals, so I hope to take it from you. Ultimately it is up to you to decide what's more important-keeping loyal to Stephanie or keeping all your body parts."

Just then Leia, Marsha, and Gwen came in with a tied up blue-bell scout who sported two black eyes, and a broken nose and a swad of duck-tape placed firmly on her mouth

The pig-tailed girl frowned at the sight of her young sisters, and a passed out balding fat man.

"What are you two doing here?"

"I acquired a jester for my dark court." Lani bragged.

Leia waited for Lulu to translate.

"Bah." Lulu supplied, explaining everything.

"Listen, I have business to conduct. So you dumb babies have to scram."

Lani bared her sharp teeth. "No, we were here first. You should leave Gremlin." the small demon sneered.

Leia glared at her youngest sister. Lulu held up her short arms to command peace, but the two blondes just stared at the other, neither breaking their gaze until Lucky started to wake up. "Now what in tarnation." the man asked.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"My annoying little sister kidnapped you," Leia said nonchalantly.

"Well-will, she let me go." Lucky inquired.

"No!" Lani screeched loudly. "You belong to me now and forever." The small demon held up a fist engulfed in hellfire

The man started screaming in horror.

The noise, in turn, awakened the 100-year old who called the Louds knowing they were the cause.

Lincoln, having been awoken and grilled by the old man, went to his backyard.

Lucky was still screaming, Lani was shouting for him to shut-up, Leia was telling the babies to take the man and go away.

"Ok, none of this looks good," Lincoln spoke up, breaking the squabbling.

All the girls jumped at the sound of the white-haired man's voice.

Leia tried giving Lincoln a charming smile. "Hi Daddy, we're just playing."

Lincoln shook his head. Leia, I know you were about to torture the girl you've got tied up there. Come on, let her go."

"But Daaaady, she information I want that she won't give up," Leia whined.

"Well, that's her decision. Now let her go."

The mini-crime lord pouted but snapped her fingers, which signaled Gwen to release the captured scout.

Once freed, the girl spat blood on the shed floor. "Fuck you, Gremlin. Stephanie is the true Cookie queen." with that declaration; the scout ran off.

"Now off to bed, Princess. Gwen, Marsha, you two make your way home.

With that, the three girls scampered off.

Lincoln turned his gaze towards his two youngest daughters, and they are captive.

"Now, who have you kidnapped and why?"

"Father, this man is the world's greatest musician. I took him to bring entertainment for Lulu and me."

Lulu, not wanting to be lumped in with her younger sister's crime, quickly replied. "Bah."

Lani nodded. "Yes, the mutant didn't help out in acquiring him. She is too weak to have done so."

Lincoln sighed, knelt, and picked up his youngest daughter.

"Lani, you can't keep this man against his will. Do you know why?"

"Because it's a felony?" Lani innocently asked.

"Well yes, partially that. But that's not the major thing."

"Bah."

"Well yes, partially because it is massive violations of human rights. But still not quite. Girls, the main reason you can't keep this man locked up is that he is an artist. Now, as a comic-book illustrator, I can tell you first hand when the best work from an artist comes when they're not constantly stressed out. You could keep this guy, and you could force him to perform for you, but the work itself will be subpar. Do you get what I'm saying, Lani?"

Lani nodded, seeing Lincoln's point.

"So, you are going to release me?" Lucky asked, hopefully.

Lincoln smiled. "Of course. My sister will have to wipe the last 24-hours from your mind, but after that, you're a free man."


	4. Baby's first Soul

Lemy strummed the guitar with the utter brilliance of an ultra-musical god. In his head, at least.

To those around him, it sounded so bad the sharp squeals of pigs being slaughtered sounded much more appealing.

This is why, at that day's practice, the flaming Beat-bats made a decision to deliver some from their perspective, good news for the band to Lemy during the practice session at Jordan's house.

"You're kicking me out?" Lemy said incredulously as if the shocking thing wasn't that they even allowed him in the place.

Jordan nodded to him, solemnly. "Sorry, man, the group took a vote. We just don't think our preferred style of music is well meshing with ours."

This was a polite way of saying you suck.

"I'm a great guitarist." at such lie, Jordan's resolve broke.

"No, you suck." this was a polite way of saying you suck a scat and period-blood covered dick.

"But I'm the leader of the band!" Lemy announced.

Second, to Allie, he was literally the newest member. How he's deluded himself into thinking he was the leader is a mystery even Lisa would not be able to answer.

"Well, screw you guys! Come on, Allie, let's get out of here."

Jordan shook his head. "Your sister can stay. She's...more aligned with the group's vision." Jordan meant she was okay.

Lemy turned to Allie. She shrugged her shoulders. At the betrayal, Lemy grew outraged.

"Well, I wish mom never brought you home. I hate you!" he screamed before storming off. He came back five seconds later. He went over Allie and gave her a big hug.

"Didn't mean that. Your my sister and I love you so much."

Allie patted Lemy's back. "Didn't take offense, little bro."

* * *

"I mean kicked out of my own band," Lemy said, obviously still deluded that he was ever the leader of anything, at any point in his life. Lyra cradled his naked form against her chest as they lay in their bed. Throughout the entire time, they'd have sex, he wouldn't shut up about it.

It was such a mood killer.

"Why? Am I really that bad?"

Yes, you're terrible at music. Lyra would say this, but she was a good Christian girl. She should uplift her brother-lover, who would be her future husband. Lyra also knew Lemy would get prissy and whine.

"I don't think so, Lem. But if you want, I could help you practice." she offered candidly.

Lemy shook his head. "Meh, that sounds like a lot of work-there has to be a better way. I'd do anything." Except actually try to get better.

Unknown to the two, a devil had listened to the conversation.

Lemy grabbed a root beer from the fridge when he turned back and saw Lani in a small black and red suite sitting on the kitchen counter. She smiled wide enough to show her razor-sharp teeth. She held a contract and a pen.

Lemy just kept drinking.

"Lemy Marie Loud, I have heard your prayers, and I have come to grant your unfulfilled ambitions."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to make you better at playing the guitar." Lani clarified. "At a price."

Lemy instantly smiled, then frowned. "It doesn't require me to do any practice, does it?"

"No, but_."

"Okay, I'm in." Lemy interrupted.

Lani scrunched her face. "But you didn't let me tell you what the price was."

"Is it work?"

"Well, it's your immortal soul_."

"Yeah, sure you can have it," Lemy said.

Lani started to get flustered. The demon was ecstatic about her first attempt at buying a soul. It was a massive deal for a demon, and Lemy wasn't acting like he was supposed to.

She began crying tears of blood. Lemy seeing his little sister in distress, picked her up and began rocking her gently.

"Hey what's wrong little devil?" he asked

"Y-you're not playing r-right." the antichrist whimpered, shaking her little arms in fury and despair.

Lemy felt terrible. He never liked it when his little sisters got mad at him. Except for Leia

"Okay, you tell me how exactly you want me to be, and I'll be it."

Lani wiped her tears away. "Pinky promise?"

Lemy nodded.

The small demon then told Lemy how he should act.

"Oh, woest me!" Lemy said extra dramatically. He threw up his arms in anguish.

"Such a massive decision. Dare I depart with my soul to improve my musical skill."

"Do it, Lemy, and I promise to give the ability to acquire fame and riches beyond that of heaven," Lani whispered in his ear.

"I find myself too tempted to say yes, Dark Queen Lani," Lemy announced before picking up the pen and signing the contract.

Lemy smiled at his youngest sister. He took up the pen and swiftly signed the contract without a second thought and handed it to Lani.

"Thanks, Lemy." the demon said before crawling off.

Lemy knew exactly where'd he showcase this new ability.

* * *

The talent at Lemy's school was the perfect place to showcase his former band; he didn't need them. He suited up in good old black and white spandex that from Lyra's comments made his butt look awesome. He had a black and white face to beef up the badass appearance. As he waited for turn backstage, he thought he no longer needed his former band's validation. Hell, he wouldn't rejoin them if they begged.

Jordan walked up to him. "Hey_."

"You want me back in the group, I understand. All is forgiven, bring it in buddy." Lemy before clasping his best-friend in a hug.

Jordan pried Lemy off of him. "Nah, man. I just wanted to say one of your boots is untied."

"Oh. Well, thank you for that."

With that, Jordan went back to the band. They went up next, and the crowd roared with utter love and adoration. Lemy knew he could top that.

In the crowd, the Loud family resided. They were there for both Allie and Lemy even though they knew Lemy couldn't possibly win. Leia was selling rotten fruits, and vegetables, so people could throw at bad performers. No one, but Lana had taken some(to eat not throw), but Leia knew once Lemy got on stage, she'd make mad money. Lupa came because she delighted in others humiliating each other.

Lemy came on stage with a swagger of confidence that said, 'Yes, I am better than Jesus Christ, and I also fuck better than him too."

He put his fingers over his guitar and started playing, and surprisingly-it sounded even worse than anyone was expecting. People immediately started crowding around Leia to get their hands on the rotten produce. Lupa started laughing. Lani was confused as to why Lemy was performing so poorly. Lyra knowing something was bound to happen, immediately got out her riot shield and helmet. She immediately jumped on stage in an attempt to defend her future husband, which again was her 11-year brother.

"Back off you instruments of Satan." the girl shouted ushering Lemy backstage to safety.

Later his family came to console him. Well, most of them.

"I don't know how this could have happened," Lani said incredulously. "The contract was supposed to make his playing spectacular."

Everyone turned and gawked. "He sold me his soul to increase his musical ability."

"Well, that's just ridiculous," Lyra said. "I have legal ownership of Lemy's soul."

The family turned to stare at her. "I knew Lani would try to tempt Lemy with some inane proposition. So I offered Lemy a piece of chocolate the day after she came to the house after failing to do away with her the first day."

"I remember that. Now that was a good trade." Lemy said.

Lani frowned. "So, I didn't buy my first soul."

Lani's bottom lip started quivering.

Lupa scooped up Lani in her arms and whispered something in the demon's ear.

Lani smiled. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

Lupa shrugged. Lani giggled and kissed Lupa on the cheek.

Lemy sighed. "I guess I'll never be a great rocker."

Lyra shook her head. "Lemy, with a lot of hard work and dedication, I believe you be the greatest."

"I stand by my earlier statement." Lemy declared hauntingly as the Louds proceeded to leave the school.

Lincoln stopped Lupa as they came close to the exit.

"What'd you say to Lani?"

Lupa shrugged. "I said I'd sell my soul to her for some Cuban cigars."

At this, Lincoln looked absolutely horrified-which proved to Lupa she had did the right thing.


	5. Pain or Treat

On Halloween night, two supernatural babes were on the hunt for candy. Lani dressed up as her personal hero-the the devil. Lulu dressed up as a blue worm, and the two were accompanied by their big sister Liby, who was dressed up as a detective. Liby being 14-years old, considered herself too old for such childish escapades.

She was practically an adult.

She insisted her detective costume was a uniform and that she was wearing it because she had just come home from a case when she was to take Lani and Lulu ou.

She'd still took the candy of course. Liby said she got a bag in case she stumbled upon any objects that could've been used in a crime-this was a lie.

"Mortal, I have come to extract tribute from you. You will give me candy, or will destroy your dwellings, and kill_!"

Liby hastily cut her off. "Lani, that's not what we practiced."

The demon rolled red her eyes. "I mean trick or treat?"

The old woman holding a bowl of candy smiled and gave Lani lemon lollipop.

"Your soul is now less likely to be tormented in the eternal flames_."

"Lani!"

"I mean, thank you, ma'am."

Lulu came up next. "Bah."

The woman got an entire handful of chocolate and put it in Lulu's bag.

"Bah." at such a magnificent display of gratitude, the old woman got a bigger handful of candy. She put it in the mutant's bag.

"Kiss ass," Lani grumbled.

Lulu reached over and ripped off the other infant's face, which in return lead to Lani burning off the face of Lulu with hellfire.

The two were in perfect condition in less than a few seconds.

Liby, who smiled eagerly for her share.

Lani and Lulu crawled to the next house, and Liby had to give a light jog to keep up.

The night was going smoothly until they stumbled one particular house.

The man who answered the door was tall, handsome, and had perfect teeth.

"Trick or treat," Lani said.

"Bah."

"I'm not wearing a costume." Liby declared, still holding out her bag.

The man smiled, got out some canisters of floss, and toothpaste in the bags and Liby's hat.

"Mortal-I mean sir, you've made a horrific mistake. I will give five seconds to fetch, me, my sisters the sugary treats we are entitled to."

The handsome man chuckled. "I'm afraid I'm not going to handout, cavity creating, tooth-rotting, diabetes-inducing pellets from hell-or as you may call them 'candy.'

"But, we said trick, or treat," Lani said utterly confused. "And your light was on, and you opened the door, so you need to give us candy. Those are the rules!"

"Bah. Bah!" Lulu said equally offended at the man's seemingly lack of care to follow protocol.

"I want my candy!" Liby said, stomping on the ground.

"I think you'll find the rewards of using these things to be sweeter than any treat." the man chuckled. He turned to Liby. "And from the looks of it, candy is the last thing you need." He then closed his door.

"Can I kill him?" Lani asked.

"Maybe," Liby said reflexively, furious over the remark about her braces.

"Bah," Lulu said. In the face of such reasoned argument, Liby's anger quelled.

The older girl sighed. "No, you can't kill him."

Lani pouted.

"Don't fret Lani, we'll trick him!" Usually, Liby was averse to any sort of law-breaking. But on Halloween night, there were different laws.

"Could the trick be me killing him?" Lani asked.

"Bah"

Lani turned to her slightly sister. "I am not an idiot. That's was a totally valid question."

Liby got the eggs she'd been carrying. She told herself it wasn't for tricking, but in case she stumbled upon some thugs if they ambushed her and her sisters. This was obviously a lie given Lulu and Lani would likely kill and possibly eat any threat they came across.

Liby retreated to the sidewalk and began hurling the eggs at the house.

She handed some to her sisters. This was huge was a mistake.

Lulu and Lani, in addition to being near invulnerable, were insanely strong as evidence by the massive holes in the house they were egging.

"Ah, biscuits." Liby cursed. She quickly grabbed her little sisters and ran off as fast she could. On Halloween night, police tended to adhere to the typical laws-which made what the babies did was a first-degree felony. Liby couldn't go to prison. She was just a kid. She still went trick or treating for god's sake!

She ran all the way back to the house. Liena was there handing out candy. The adults were at a party, Lyra thought the holiday obscene so, she spent the time having sex with Lemy. Lyle took Loan and Bobby trick or treating and had to make sure the two were safe. Particularly Bobby from Loan. Lupa decided to terrorize the people of the neighborhood by pretending to be a vampire.

"How was your time out?" Liena asked.

"We destroyed a house," Lani responded promptly.

"Bah," Lulu added.

"Did you kill, or eat anyone?" the big girl asked

The two infants shook their heads.

Liena smiled at Liby. "Sounds like you did as good as one could expect to keep these little rascals out of trouble."

"Could we devour our treats now?" Lani asked.

Liena nodded, and the two scurried up to their room to enjoy their sugary reward.

The two saw a line forming out Leia's and Lizy's room.

In Lani's opinion, Leia had opted to foolishly forgo trick or treating. The demon wanted to rub her success in her older sister's face.

The two tots crawled into the room, which turned out to be filled with turtle scouts, most of whom were lined with bags of candy.

A big girl knelt down and kissed Leia's hand.

"Queen Leia, please accept this as a tribute." the girl before dumping half her candy on the ground.

Leia smiled. "You've done well, Melanie. Natasha has the first piece of candy."

Natasha grabbed a snicker and began eating it. She immediately spat it out. "Cyanide." the girl screamed.

Melanie lept towards Leia with a dagger, but Gwen swiftly laid her at with a hard smack to the jaw.

The fellow scouts descended on the would-be assassin. They pounded on her with the ferocity of lions descending upon a wounded deer.

Leia raised a hand that stopped the beating. Three scouts forced Melanie to her feet. Two held her arms, and one had a firm grip on her neck. Melanie had gotten fresh scratch marks over her face, she lost teeth, and a large swath of hair had been pulled out.

Marsha went to give the proper medicine to Natasha. Leia kept smiling.

"I knew Stephanie would try something like this tonight." Leia lamented. "I had my suspicions, it'd be you acting as her hand Melanie, though I had hoped to be proven wrong. You were a proficient earner."

"Queen Leia, please the goblin has my family, I had no choice!" Melanie cried out in despair.

Leia rolled her eyes. "Tell me what are the oaths every turtle scout must swear to join the sisterhood?"

"I will never put myself, my family, country, any god, or any other sort of entity above the true Cookie Queen Leia Loud. I am hers to live and to die for." Melanie recited through tears.

Leia nodded. "It appears you do remember your oaths. You've shown to be unwilling to live for me. Perhaps you'd be willing to die for me. Take her two my Aunt Lana's shed. Make it slow."

Melanie howled in anguish as she was dragged off to a grizzly fate.

Lani frowned. "Ah, her way seems way more fun."


End file.
